A Letter To Daddy...

I stared at a blank page for a long time figuring out what to say. 

I tried to think of the best way to express my feelings without crying. The best way to tap into that part of my mind where the memories of you live and to not open the floodgates and drown. 

I miss you daddy. Everyday. 

I often think of the tribulations I have been through and all of the things that I have witnessed and I wonder if I would be different if you were here. 

I ride past that bar on Seventh Avenue where they took you from me and I wonder, when will they tear down the sign on the side of the building? They are renovating. 

Renovating and still that little piece is still on the side. I hate it.

A constant reminder of that night in 1991 when my life was completely flipped upside down. 

I miss you. 

I love you. 

Every single day I wonder if you can hear me when I pray. I wonder if its true and you are really smiling down on me or if thats something they told me to make me sleep better. 

It didnt work. 

I wish I could touch you. 

I wish I could lay down next to you and tell you about my life now and how I hope I am making you proud. 

They tell me Im just like you. 

Quick wit and sharp tongue. Chinky eyes and full lips. 

Just like you. 

Guess what daddy? People call me Ronnie now. 

Just like you. 

I remember everything about you. 

Your smile, Your walk..even your accent.

That day we drove to Coney Island in your convertible and you made me eat frog legs because I was scared of them. 

That day I slammed my finger in your car door and you sang to me so I wouldnt cry.

I thank you for making me brave. 

I thank you for making me smart. 

I thank you for risking your life for our country more than once by serving with honor because thats what men do. 

I thank you for protecting me. For taking care of me and continuing to do so even when you were no longer here..

For setting the blueprint for how I am to be treated.

I thank you for everything you gave me and you didnt even realize it. 

You taught me to love and respect my body. To never let anyone make me feel less than what I am. To never be subdued or pretend to be someone Im not.

I miss you. 

Why didnt you stay with me?

Didn't you love me like you said you did?

Why couldnt you stay with me?

I miss you. 

Tomorrow is Father's Day. 

I will try to make it happy

Because although you are not here with me anymore..

There is not a Day I am not grateful that you were my Father. 

Happy Father's Day William Tyrone Mitchell. 

I Love You, 

Daddy's Girl - Ronnie 

Separation: The Key To A Successful Relationship

Yes, I know, you love your mate. You feel like the world is not turning if they aren’t by your side and all that jazz. I get it. Butterflies in the stomach and tingles all over…I totally get it. Let’s get to the gist of this though.  You really want to know how to keep them? Get away from them! I know that sounds harsh…Hear me out though.

In any situation, the last thing that you want to be (or have) is someone that’s smothering. Let’s just be honest here, no one wants to be in a relationship with someone who has NO LIFE outside of the union.Think about it, you did not get in a relationship or even get married to have someone mirror you all day. You became interested in them because of their hobbies, the things they like to do, the movies they like and all that crap that people care about. It is highly important that you don’t lose sight of yourself. Get a hobby. Become active in your community.  Go to the gym, go to the pool, learn a craft, DO SOMETHING. “Missing someone” really has no worth when you spend every waking moment of the day together. What do you have to discuss? What would you need to share? Nothing. That’s what.

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking “Well, my mate has never told me they want me to get a hobby”. Guess what? They never will. Men will most likely never tell a woman to go find something to do…mainly because they fear the backlash of sex being rationed or even withheld if we feel like they are rejecting us or needing some space. Women won’t tell men to get up off that couch and do something because we fear he’s going to get up off our couch and go somewhere else to sit on a couch…with maybe someone else sitting on his lap. The common denominator in both of these situations is fear, and honestly its time for us to shed some light on some of these gray areas and make things clear. Now, in case your man or woman hasn’t told you today, let me be the first to say to you…Get a life.

As much as we love spending time with you, we also need alone time & time to explore things we did before “I” became “Us”. I’m not saying we cant do things together or even spend extended time together…but don’t take it personal when a little solitude is the best present you can give. You don’t believe me do you? Try it for yourself. One day of the week you & your mate go do separate activities and then pow wow at a neutral location or even a restaurant….share your days over dinner…and then go enjoy each other for dessert.

You’re Welcome.

P.S. Someone expressed concerns about this not working for married couples. Why not? If you are in a marriage and you are not allowed to have activities that are solely for you..your marriage has issues that will not be covered in this blog. 

RW