Yes, I know, you love your mate. You feel like the world is not turning if they aren’t by your side and all that jazz. I get it. Butterflies in the stomach and tingles all over…I totally get it. Let’s get to the gist of this though. You really want to know how to keep them? Get away from them! I know that sounds harsh…Hear me out though.
In any situation, the last thing that you want to be (or have) is someone that’s smothering. Let’s just be honest here, no one wants to be in a relationship with someone who has NO LIFE outside of the union.Think about it, you did not get in a relationship or even get married to have someone mirror you all day. You became interested in them because of their hobbies, the things they like to do, the movies they like and all that crap that people care about. It is highly important that you don’t lose sight of yourself. Get a hobby. Become active in your community. Go to the gym, go to the pool, learn a craft, DO SOMETHING. “Missing someone” really has no worth when you spend every waking moment of the day together. What do you have to discuss? What would you need to share? Nothing. That’s what.
I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking “Well, my mate has never told me they want me to get a hobby”. Guess what? They never will. Men will most likely never tell a woman to go find something to do…mainly because they fear the backlash of sex being rationed or even withheld if we feel like they are rejecting us or needing some space. Women won’t tell men to get up off that couch and do something because we fear he’s going to get up off our couch and go somewhere else to sit on a couch…with maybe someone else sitting on his lap. The common denominator in both of these situations is fear, and honestly its time for us to shed some light on some of these gray areas and make things clear. Now, in case your man or woman hasn’t told you today, let me be the first to say to you…Get a life.
As much as we love spending time with you, we also need alone time & time to explore things we did before “I” became “Us”. I’m not saying we cant do things together or even spend extended time together…but don’t take it personal when a little solitude is the best present you can give. You don’t believe me do you? Try it for yourself. One day of the week you & your mate go do separate activities and then pow wow at a neutral location or even a restaurant….share your days over dinner…and then go enjoy each other for dessert.
You’re Welcome.
P.S. Someone expressed concerns about this not working for married couples. Why not? If you are in a marriage and you are not allowed to have activities that are solely for you..your marriage has issues that will not be covered in this blog.
RW
